I'm a little late writing this blog. Taxes took precedence. Ugh. I got the idea to write this blog around Valentine's Day when I mused on love, what it looks like, and the actions that demonstrate it. What does this have to do with horses? The more time I spend in the presence of equines, the easier it is for me to bring everything back to them and how they relate. And I find their way more effective and appealing than how humans operate. Horses have one, and only one goal, t

Hello old friend, previously when you came knocking, I shut the door in your face. I now acknowledge your presence and tell you it's okay to stay awhile. The day is dawning. I'm barely awake, and I become aware of a pain in my chest. I turn inward, take a deep breath, and say to it, I know what you are; you are fear. I won't push you away, ignore you, or talk myself out of feeling the sensations you bring to my body. Instead, I will welcome you and search for the guidance you

Happy New Year! I thought I'd provide a brief update on the Rudy The Rudster book series. In the fourth quarter of last year, I had a blast going to craft fairs, talking to people about the series and Rudy, and selling books. Additionally, I entered a new collaborative effort with the owner and creator of www.AllPony.com. I plan to write one blog every four to six weeks, and the topic is equine practitioners. The blog is written from Rudy's perspective to better connect with

There is only one thing we can control, our mind. Years ago, I read a book titled How We Choose To Be Happy. The book helped me reframe my opinion of my life and its past events. It helped me think "better" and check the negative chatter in my mind. I now see events as essential to making me who I am, and I don't consider the unfortunate, traumatic events in my life as "bad." I view them as necessary. I needed to go through those things, learn the lessons, grow, be healthier,

Rudy has helped me beat to my own drum. Over the six years I've owned him and four barns we've been at, there have been numerous opportunities to be influenced by well-meaning trainers, fellow boarders, or barn staff instead of listening to my intuition. There were plenty of times when I defaulted to others' advice despite it going against what I innately thought was correct because the person had more experience than I did. Six years in, I'm still a newbie to this whole hors

My niece was born a horse-crazy kid like me. She took her first riding lesson at three years old and continued taking classes until she got serious about swimming around twelve. She was ten when I bought Rudy. The first time she met him, she was on crutches. She has Perthes disease, a hip disorder in young children that usually occurs between four and ten. She had undergone surgery on the femoral head of her hip and could not bear weight for two years. Despite this restrictio

When I think back seven years, my life as it is now is unimaginable. I would never have thought I'd be spending hours at the barn with my horse, much less be the author of a children's book series. Talk about a dream come true! Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to believe that this is my life. The gift of Rudy keeps giving to me in unexpected ways. Writing a book was on my bucket list for years. I can tell you that writing a children's book was not on my radar. Yet, here

The first two blogs on fear came effortlessly, but this one did not, hence the delay in writing it. I've been thinking about my experiences with fear and how to "wrap" up my thoughts on this complex emotion. I've concluded that there isn't a way to "wrap" this topic in a neat package. The feeling of fear will rise and ebb based on things I experience and my thoughts about those happenings. It's up to me to acknowledge the emotion, allow it space, and recognize when I'm contri

I believe that no one wants to be a fearful person. I also think that people are often blind to many of their fears and don't realize the degree to which they control the direction, flow, abundance, love, and success in their lives. I've never considered myself to be a fearful person. I've always been somewhat of a risk-taker, naturally drawn to the thrill and adrenaline rush from speed and pushing my limits. For example, I love downhill skiing through trees—the joy of the sp

If you follow me on social media or via this blog, you know I had a riding accident a few months ago. The accident, thankfully, did not involve Rudy. I was trail riding while on vacation, the horse spooked, I ended up in the unfortunate position underneath him, and he trampled the inside of my left leg. I miraculously walked away with bone bruises and a lot of soft tissue damage. This outcome is beyond lucky. I'm twelve weeks from the accident, and I still have a way to go be

My horse triggers an old, habitual way of thinking and feeling in me, not enough. Horses establish clear boundaries with each other. They regularly and decisively enforce these limits. For humans, boundaries can be complex and problematic. Everything about human relationships is more complicated than it is with horses. As an animal lover, my natural inclination is to cuddle with them and love them to pieces. Many people struggle with setting and maintaining personal boundarie

Some people face a lot of loss in the form of death in their life while others face comparatively little. I fall in the latter camp. As the decades pass, it has not gone unnoticed that I'm fortunate in this regard. I've lost my great grandparents, my grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and a first cousin who was only 18 years old when he passed away. He suffered from cystic fibrosis his entire life. Still, he lived a vibrant life thanks to my incredible aunt and uncle, who

Everyone seems to have a different view on the necessity and effectiveness of bodywork on horses. There are many treatments, and every practitioner has a unique approach. Some are effective, and some aren't. It's hard to know what treatment to choose, and then there's the issue of cost. I experienced many benefits to human bodywork, for example, chiropractic care, acupuncture, and massage, so it wasn't a leap for me to have a massage therapist work on Rudy when his back was s

We are all familiar with this concept but, how often do we apply it skillfully in our lives? My approach to life is to try and try harder if necessary. I grew up believing that hard work led to success. I was born with dyslexia. My learning disability first showed up when I began reading and writing. I wrote my letters backward and spelled my name E N A I D. I also read from right to left. Dyslexia affected my hand-eye coordination as well. For example, it was challenging for

It was going to be a busy day for Rudy and me. Portsmouth Living magazine was profiling me as their person of interest for the September 2021 edition. A professional photographer was coming to the barn to take pictures of us. The hope was to capture the essence of our relationship as well as Rudy's connection with children. I arrived at the barn at 8 a.m. to start preparations. My close friend Allison was due to arrive at 9 and the photographer at 9:30. Our goal was to get fi

I went to a horse clinic earlier this month. The title was Compassionate Connection, and the instructor was Heidi Potter. If someone walked into the room, they never would have guessed we were in a horse clinic. Heidi started by suggesting we give our worry up to a higher faith. We discussed breathing patterns, that the inhale brings energy and the exhale brings calm. She introduced us to Brené Brown’s 7 Super Tips. For example, empathy is the antidote to shame. Heidi told us

A year ago this month, Rudy and I were going through a rough patch. He had developed stomach ulcers and it took a few months for me to figure out that this was the cause of a variety of unwanted and uncharacteristic behaviors in him. In the recent weeks, he had started bucking when he was asked to canter under saddle. He offered to kick if I so much as grazed my hand over his flank and he had an excessively sore back. A series of events left me with little confidence in me, h

I busied myself with pulling things together to head to the barn. I was trying to ignore the growing anxiety I felt. As I envisioned getting back on Rudy, fear gripped me and my chest tightened. I impulsively grabbed a bottle of wine, poured out a couple of ounces, and gulped it down. This was unlike me, typically I confined drinking to weekends and then only a glass or two. It seemed my primitive brain thought this might help me gain some semblance of calm. The drive to the

It occurred to me that he was just another big horse, forever testing me to see if I'd hold my ground, often succeeding in moving my feet, disrespecting me, and pushing through my boundaries. With this epiphany, I imagined him on the end of a lunge line and I watched as he came in toward me time and time again.  Calmly and resolutely, I sent him out to the end of the rope, around and around we went.  He repeatedly tested me, trying to move my feet as he always had but I was s